Personal ad

“Woman in training looking for friend with benefits to assist with “practice makes perfect”.

Offered on good days: Sharp wit, soft oral, hard sex and no strings (unless required for bedroom, then soft satin only…). A whizz in the kitchen, especially at keeping tiles and counter tops polished.

Wanted: Part time other eighth with off side and depraved sense of humour, healthy sexual appetite, abilitu to laugh at self a requirement, and a constant craving for fluids a plus.”

Now this is how all personal ads should be.

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